After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
