yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
