Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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