Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
