Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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