My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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