Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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