Can i not drive my cunt home
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
