STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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