In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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