Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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