He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
