wrigley field is MILF paradise
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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