im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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