Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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