i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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