are you so shy because you have an std?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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