he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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