remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
