her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Come share oat with me in your robe