Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex