Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog