after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
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You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.