I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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