that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
please come you make the beer taste better
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
