Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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