Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize