I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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