the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
