What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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