Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
