haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
