youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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