DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
