I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
