is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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