I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
