What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
