paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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