I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
