im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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