i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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