Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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