She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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