so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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