I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
