Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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