can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize