But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
