No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
