it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.