Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.

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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Fuck 8am classes

(330): View more from Ohio

Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes

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(925): View more from California

i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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(206): View more from Washington

I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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(954): View more from Florida

He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick

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