Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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