I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
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woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick