Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused