so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
