the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
nutella sex= disaster
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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