Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage