I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.