I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN