I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
