Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
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Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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