I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
