She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
