I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
