if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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