So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
