Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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