i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
