omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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