So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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