girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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