I forgot how hot balto sounded
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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