Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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