I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
