Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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