She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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