the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
