You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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