This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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