so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
