I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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